Truth - Angea

Posted by Meg Shehad on

       

 

What is the truth? In America since we are immersed in the need to punish, we often don't find the truth. Let me explain. There is a failure model, of being, that most of us accept. It is the way we were raised and the way we raise our children. We do not realize how damaging this system is. We accept that it is the (only) way to raise good people. Here is an example.

Mother bakes chocolate chip cookies Monday afternoon for a treat after dinner. The child knows that mother bakes them on Monday. There is great temptation to eat one before dinner. The child waits for Mother to leave the kitchen and up they go to get a cookie. Surely she will not miss one cookie, but when she comes back, she does notice. "Did you take a cookie?" She asks. Being young and naive, the child says, "Yes." Mother gets angry and the child gets punished. "No cookies for you tonight," she tells him.
Now it is next week and the cookies are made again. The temptation is there but the threat of being caught is also there. The child creates a plan to put a piece of card broad in the middle of the stack so Mother will not notice that the cookie is gone. It works. The child gets a cookie and is not found out until that evening when the card board is found. "Did you do this?" The child knows that if they say yes that they will be punished so the child says "No, I did not do this" "
"How did this cardboard get here?" The child blames it on the little brother. The little brother says that he did not do it. Denying and blaming can avoid punishment. Well who did it? The search for truth begins. Lying is not about telling the truth but avoiding punishment in many cases. It is the smart thing to do. Who would be willing to take on punishment if they did not have to do so? Telling the truth only gets you into trouble. Life becomes about avoiding punishment or not getting caught. 

If you look at what is happening today, you see there are two people a man and a woman telling the truth about their experience. Both are very believable but what is the truth? How does the man admit to his long ago transgression that will destroy all he has worked for? How can he allow his family to be hurt? Lying is not about the truth but protecting all you have worked for and your family. Now you must put the blame on something else. Muddy the water so that the truth will become distorted and people will begin to look in other directions. 

What if we lived in a world that allowed the man to come forward and admit to what he had none? What if we allowed the man to say he was sorry and what if he was able to say that he repented his actions and dedicated himself to serving and promoting women? Could we forgive him? Could we allow both the man and the woman to heal from the past bad experiences and go forward without the need to punish them. 

Punishment is a waste of time. Shaming is a waste of time. Learning from our experiences is what allows us to grow. It allows us to hold both the woman and the man in compassion. Both are a product of the punishment system. The woman could not tell for fear of what would happen to her. Only after years and years of agonizing suffering does she tell. If only she had been able to come forward all those years ago. The man could not tell for fear of ruining his future that he had worked for years and years. The system in the end had failed both of them. The world they lived in was not a place where they could tell the truth. It was not safe.

Now, how are you like that woman and man? What have you hidden? What have you blamed others for? What are you afraid to tell for being shamed or punished? How does this fear impact your life? What if you could live in a compassionate world that allows everyone to grow through their shortcomings and faults without punishment and shame. Do you believe that a world like that is possible? I do believe that it is. In Angea this is how I want to live.

I hold both the woman and the man in a compassionate place. I wish for them both to find peace and resolution. I will not condemn either. My arms go around them both. I see how telling the truth has or would hurt them both. I am willing to live differently to make a new world where telling the truth allows you to work the problem and gain from your mistakes. Both the woman and the man are good people and so available to do good deeds. Let's create a space where they can do that.

Carrot SeedCan indicate that you rely on others for the truth and do not get that your truth is within. It can be very confusing if those around you do not validate your experience or agree with you about what is happening. 

Marigold Absolute - Supports the ability to speak the truth into your world and your life.

4 comments


  • Thank You Meg! So on point and relevant in so many ways. Our world has used punishment for so long, we do not often recognize the consequences we have created; “the blame game” we have utilized has become the norm. Truth is so much simpler, and yet, to speak it seems to agitate so many. Blessings to You Meg for Your truth!

    Victoria on

  • Thank you for this.

    Beth B on

  • Well said…very insightful and compassionate in light of the current circumstances.

    Ellen Rayner on

  • This is the first rational, insightful article on these issues that I have read so far!
    Thank you.

    Ellen Rayner on

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