Loving More

Posted by Meg Shehad on


When you say that our challenge is to love more and not less, does that mean that we must become like the angels and strung hum of love. Absolutely not! When you are in a truly loving relationship or circumstance, you have plenty of permission to get angry, cry, hit things, throw things, get jealous, be possessive, hate, fear, and just any emotion that you have is OK. Everyone is different and what they are comfortable expressing varies greatly. That doesn't change. After you have processed all this, then it is important to ask yourself to love more not less.

When we first created Gritman, we wanted a truly naturally environment to place the building. There was no front yard as the landscape went right to street. The house was placed back into the lot with a long driveway. Gritman appeared to live in the trees and is often called a tree house. Our neighbors did not like the look of us. They took us to city court. Our neighbors were furious at us for not having a front yard. The court informed our neighbors that we were not breaking any laws and we had a right to this life style. Our neighbors became blue in the face and I thought they might have a stroke.

Leaving the court, my partner and I talked about how unsettling it was to see this rage. The officers of the court asked us what we had done to our neighbors to make them so angry. We planted shrugs and trees to the street? It did not make sense to us either. What had we done? Right now we felt embarrassed, wanted to hide, angry that they took us to court instead of talking with us, and saddened that we lived in a hostile neighborhood.

Of course knowing me, I went home and took an essential oil bath. In the bath, I realized that our neighbors wanted a certain look to their neighborhood and we were violating those ideals. We presented a trashy, not neat look to them. I thought we were beautiful. The trees and shrugs did need to grow but they would. Why couldn't our neighbors see that. They could not because we were never going to have the look they wanted. When you understood that we challenged their ideals, you could understand why they were so angry. What to do? I decided to love them more and honor their ideals and their right to have them. I just did not share them.

Everyone else decided to hold onto the unpleasant anger and resentment. Now it is many years later. Everyone is gone but me and new friends and neighbors have taken their place. I live in a peaceful beautiful setting. The shrugs and trees did grow and shelter our gardens from the world. Those that live and work here love being here. The choice was made long ago to love more not less.


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