Grief

Posted by Meg Shehad on

Uvalde library strives to be summertime refuge after school shooting

There are so many reasons to feel sad these days. We are suffering loss through shootings, war, illness, accidents, suicides, job changes, environmental changes as in global warming and many are feeling the loss of democracy.  Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her study On Death & Dying recognized five stages of grief.

Denial - protecting yourself from the emotional pain

Anger - Overwhelmed with emotion, blaming to adjusting

Bargaining - helpless to change what has happened or will happen.

Depression - beginning to accept the various emotions and the finality of loss retreating to just being with it all

Acceptance - still sad while some regret may be present, but able to face the loss and get on with life.

Children have been shot to pieces while law enforcement waits. This can't be happening again.

For our nation:

It was not your child, you just watched it on the news; but, it awakens the very fear every parent lives with daily, and buries. 

For the parent:

Please not here. It can't be my child. Wanting to protect ourselves from the painful truth.

Then we find ourselves angry as we are not able to enter the school while the police wait outside and do nothing. Phone calls are coming in that they are alive. Do something. Mothers are handcuffed to restrain them from rushing to save their child. 

Feeling helpless, looking for a higher power to help. We will do anything to help our child, save our child. I will give you anything. Turning to God in prayer, I will be good or I will never do that again if you will save my child. Please help me.

The children's remains are unrecognizable. The DNA report comes in and you find that your child is dead.

Again there is denial. Are you sure. It can't be my child. I just saw them a few hours ago. This can't be. As the emotions overwhelm, anger flares. Why didn't the police do there job. Why was my child in the room with the shooter? Who left the door open? Who can I blame for my loss? The pain wants to bloom into hate.

They bring you their shoes. You know these shoes. You have washed them many times. There is the marker design your child put there. Sadness fills your heart as you begin to accept that your child is dead, gone, not coming home. You will never hold them again. Oh God how can this be part of your perfect creation. Why?

What life force remains in you without them?

How can life go on as if everything is fine? The world should stop, as yours has.

You will continue to cry.

Time will pass and dull the pain; but how do we finally heal, our family, our community, our nation, our world?

Essential oils help the transition.

The Blends:

Grief and Loss is a good place to begin and can be used at any stage of grief.

Angel Heart Open your heart, heal from being emotionally hurt, helps one to understand why they were hurt and forgive, find the love that you want, Find your special mission in life.

Joy. Opens the heart to romance and fun. Uplifts and improves mood easing depression. Helps to reduce sadness associated with grief. Improve your ability to love yourself.

The Single oils:

Benzoin Absolute - This oil is best used for breathing. Get in a warm bath and have the bottle open so that you can breath it. This oil is absolutely not water soluble and cannot be used in the bath water. It will form hard deposits on the tub surface. For these reason cannot be put into a diffusor, but it is the premier oil for clearing grief from the lungs.

Lanyana - this oil is best used as you move into acceptance. It will help you come to terms with the grief and explore anything that needs clearing. This is a karmic oil and help you come to terms with any karmic patterning.

Patchouli - this oil is good to use in the angry and depressed stages of grief. Patchouli is one of those oils like lavender that can read your mood and know how to show itself to you. If you need sedation, that part of the oil will be there for you. If you need uplifting that part of the oil will there for you.

Rosemary Verbenone - As you deal with acceptance of the grief, verbenone will help to clear the sadness that may still be lingering in your field and make acceptance easier for you.

Spanish Sage - this oil is especially good when you are in the angry stage of grief. Spanish Sage will help you make sense and come to terms with what has happened.

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