Ahhh! We are in love finally. The state of existence that we all want and wish for. Love is wonderful. It is every where as you glide through the air. Nothing seems to bother you as you long for more of the other. When they are there, the world is perfect. You are one with the another.
Well, at first it is. Then the roof falls in. With love comes caring, tolerance especially for things you hate, patience, compromise, loss of independence, and so many other states of being that are just unpleasant that many just do not want to go there. Love brings you to euphoria and down to depths of despair, longing, and hatred. When love goes wrong, it is one of the most horrible states of existence. And it always seems to go wrong.
Before you cared, they could do unhealthy practices such as smoking and so what. Now that you care. "When are you going to stop smoking?" This becomes your mantra not "I love you.". You can always start smoking so that kissing is more fun, but, no, you have your health to consider. If they wanted to mountain climb the Himalayans that would be exciting before you loved them. Now how can you talk them out of it as they could die. Caring gives you permission to interfere or at least talk into their lives.
There is not one person on this planet that will be totally OK with what you do. There is always something that you wish you could change so that you can have that perfect relationship. So there is always something wrong with you and them. Tolerating the things that you can not change becomes a skill that allows you to remain in the relationship. Is unconditional love possible?
Now your days are full of what if I lose them. How will I endure the loss of them? For sure you will lose them one day. It will hurt as much as it felt wonderful. It will last for a while. You will wonder why you were born and why are you still alive. Death becomes an idea that you think about joining. It hurts every where.
So why love? Because it is what we are. We come from earth dust lovingly crafted by our earth mother and star dust lovingly formed by our universe. So why the dark side of love? Why must it hurt so much? Why all the interference on this planet to living a loving, peaceful life? Why indeed!